"I Don’t Get It"

If you are a fan of The Simpsons you can skip this posting.

My references to global warming and “anything it can’t do?” refers to one of the very best episodes of The Simpsons (written by Conan O’Brien) titled “Marge versus the Monorail.” In a sendup of The Music Man, a traveling salesman, Lyle Landley (= Harold Hill), sells the Simpsons’ town of Springfield a defective monorail.

The monorail runs out of control, at ever increasing speeds, with Homer at the controls.  Here is the pertinent excerpt of the script of that episode:

One technician suggests cutting the power, but alas, the monorail is solar-powered. (“Solar power. When will people learn?”) But miracle of miracles, Springfield suffers a solar eclipse! The train grinds to a halt, and all celebrate. The eclipse ends, and the train speeds off again. 


Homer: Are we gonna die, son? Bart: Yeah, but at least we’re going to take a lot of innocent people. 


Marge calls Homer on the radio. Mr. Cobb tells Homer to find an anchor of some sort. Homer looks at Bart and envisions him as an anchor. “Think harder, Homer.” Homer takes a lariat from a passenger, ties it to the metal `M’ from the monorail sign and heaves it overboard. Bart reminds him that he should tie the loose end of the rope to the train. The `M’ anchor rips into the ground, destroying everything in its path. It chops down Springfield’s Tallest Tree, sending it crashing onto Jebediah Springfield’s Birthplace. …It eventually hooks onto
a giant donut atop a donut shop and brings the train to a stop. 



“Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do?” — Homer

The anchor grabs onto the Lard Lad “donut,” stopping the monorail (not shown) and Homer utters his immortal line.

Given the (humorous) putdown of solar energy* a moment earlier, I enjoy using the “anything it can’t do” line for poking fun at the excessive blaming of ‘global warming’ for all the world’s ills.

*I really am in favor of solar energy.  Honest.

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