A Christmas Thought From Dave Barry

After viewing the huge line of cars…almost all driven by men…trying to get into “Sam’s Club” in northeast Wichita I thought I would pass along today’s quote from the Dave Barry Calendar:

Men, who are busy during the holiday season with responsibilities such as watching the playoffs, manage to get their wives an average total of one gift, which they wrap hastily at the last minute, which is why they don’t notice the wrapping paper says Happy Birthday! Sometimes a husband, trying to make his gift output look larger, will wrap the batteries separately. (I have done this.)

I’ll have you know that I finished my Christmas shopping last Saturday, an early season record. However, as Dave alludes, I didn’t wrap Kathleen’s gifts until last night. I don’t know about Dave but I can’t wrap a gift so it looks good no matter how hard I try!  Yes, my mother taught me how, but I just can’t get it right!  I am afflicted with “tragic all-thumbs wrapping syndrome.” 
Of course, after 38 Christmases together, all with poorly wrapped gifts, if Kathleen’s gifts from me were beautifully wrapped one year she might ask, “Did an alien kidnap and replace my husband?!” There will be no doubt, again this year, that it is indeed me.




UPDATE: Christmas Eve, 4:24pm. Jim Reed writes from the “Super Dillons” in east Wichita: “Isn’t that the truth!” blog! Merry Christmas. I’d write more, but I need to go wrap gifts! :)
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2 thoughts on “A Christmas Thought From Dave Barry

  1. At age 66 I have learned that the answer is "Gift Certificates", Mike! That way you don't have to wrap much and she gets what she REALLY wanted anyway…. ;-)

    Merry Christmas,
    Jim in Dodge City

  2. Jim,

    I'm sure you are right!

    I went to lunch down the street at Wendy's and there was a postman talking with his partner and I overheard him say, "I've got to get home. I've got gifts to wrap!"

    Merry Christmas to you!!
    Mike