It is so cold in Kansas and Oklahoma, we need some Johnny Carson to warm us up. Johnny used to do a bit where he would stay, “You know, it is really cold out there.” And the audience would chant in unison, “How cold is it?” And Johnny would answer with something like…
…it is so cold that politicians had their hands in their own pockets.
…it is so cold that I saw a dog stuck to a tree.
…it is so cold that chickens were mugging the sheep to get wool for sweaters.
and, I would add,
…it is so cold Al Gore must be in the area!